Free tool
Short Funny Wedding Vows
Quick laughs. Real warmth. Under 60 words, deliverable without notes.
Short funny wedding vows are a high wire act. You have one laugh line, maybe two, and then you have to land on sincerity fast. The templates below are tuned for exactly that. Punch, punch, heart. Pick one that sounds like how you actually joke together, personalize the specifics, and practice it out loud before the ceremony. Rhythm matters.
Tone
Length
Who are these for?
5 matching vows in the library. Tap the heart on any vow to save up to 3 for comparison.
[partner], I promise to always let you have the last slice of pizza, to pretend I cannot hear you when you are wrong about directions, and to love you even when you steal the covers. Which is every single night.
[partner], I vow to kill every spider in our home, to always say the dress looks great, and to never ask what you are thinking about when you go quiet, because I have learned. I love you, and I know when to stop talking.
[partner], I promise to laugh at your jokes, even the bad ones. Especially the bad ones. I promise to remind you where your keys are, to let you think you won the argument sometimes, and to love you even on the days you support the wrong football team.
[partner], I vow to always share the aux cord, never ask where my things are without looking first, and to love you even when you chew loudly, which is surprisingly often.
[partner], I promise to always pretend the noise was the wind, to agree that you are right about the thermostat, and to love you even when you plan vacations like a drill sergeant. Which, honestly, I respect.
Next step
Your vows are sorted. Now lock in the other 27 steps.
Vows are one piece of the wedding puzzle. The MyWeddingKit bundle covers every other piece: the 111 page planning guide, 19 tool spreadsheet, vendor negotiation scripts, and the complete 27 step system used by 527 couples.
- ✓111 page wedding planning guide covering every decision you will make
- ✓19 interactive planner tools (budget, guest list, timeline, seating, vendor tracker)
- ✓Vendor negotiation scripts that have saved couples $3,500+
- ✓Lifetime access, instant download, 30 day guarantee
One time payment. Lifetime access. 30 day guarantee.
How to write wedding vows that actually land
The best wedding vows share three traits. They are specific. They name a real moment, a real habit, a real promise, not a generic feeling. They are deliverable. You can read them out loud without losing the thread or running out of breath. They are honest. They sound like how you actually talk to each other, not how a Pinterest board thinks you should.
The templates above give you a frame. Your job is to personalize. Swap one or two lines for something only you two would say. Name an inside joke. Reference a real memory. That is what makes guests stop scrolling in their heads and actually listen.
Read your final vow out loud three times before the ceremony. Read it standing up. Read it when you are nervous. If you can deliver it without stumbling, you are ready.
Frequently asked
How long should wedding vows be?
One to two minutes spoken, which is roughly 150 to 250 words. Shorter vows deliver better and are easier to remember. Longer vows need practice and pacing to avoid losing your audience.
Should both partners write the same length vows?
Yes. Agree on a length ahead of time so neither of you is blindsided by a 5 minute speech after a 90 second vow. The disparity is awkward for everyone.
Can I just copy one of these vows directly?
You can. They are written to stand alone if personalized with your names. But guests will feel it more if you swap a line or two for something specific to your relationship. The templates are a starting frame, not the finished product.
What is the difference between wedding vows and a wedding reading?
Vows are promises you make to your partner, in your own voice. Readings are passages read by someone else, often a friend or family member, to frame the ceremony. You can have both in the same ceremony.